He thought the date went really well.  The woman was startlingly attractive, the conversation flowed effortlessly, and there were times during the evening when he felt positively giddy with excitement.  He couldn’t wait to see her again.  Which is why he was so surprised and confused at her failure, ever since that night, to return any of his several calls.

She, on the other hand, thought the date was a total waste of time.  The guy was unattractive and dull, she had to work at finding topics of conversation, and there were times during the evening when she actually wished she were napping.  She hoped never to spend another moment in his presence.  Which is why she was so surprised and dismayed at all the messages he’d been leaving on her machine.

It happens.  Two people in the same place at the same time, one seeing black, the other seeing white, with neither having a clue about the other’s conflicting perceptions, leaving him to wonder, “Should I continue to call?” while she wonders, “Why isn’t he getting the hint?” 

Well, no need to wonder any more.

For the man who wants to know whether he should call her one more time, here’s a handy guide:

• Calling her again when she doesn’t return that first call is okay—it’s possible she never received the message.

• Calling her again when she doesn’t return that second call is desperate—she got the message, she’s just not interested.

• Calling her again when she doesn’t return that third call is pathetic—stop it, you’re embarrassing yourself.

• Calling her again when she doesn’t return that fourth call is stalking—can you spell “Defendant”?

And for the woman who wants to know why he calls four times before quitting, here’s some insight:

• When you don’t return his call the first time, he thinks he must not have spoken loudly enough on your answering machine.

• When you don’t return his call the second time, he thinks a power failure must have erased his message.

• When you don’t return his call the third time, he thinks you must have been injured in an accident.

• When you don’t return his call the fourth time, he finally concludes that you’re a lousy mother, you mistreat your dog, and he’s better off without you.

Hope that clears things up for everyone.

Website content copyright Ó 2007, February Press, LLC / Blog content copyright Ó 2007, Kenneth W. Shapiro

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